Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Short commons

Oh hell! It's Lent...
forty days and nights
of biscuit scent
but no food by rights
as Mister and Missus repent.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Brunella Labrador's idea of a perfect Valentine meal for Missus & Mister

I've been planning a Labrador's idea of a perfect romantic dinner for Mister and Missus in the hope they'll share it with their poor, starving pooch.


Fat, extra large, juicy prawns with grated carrot on top and no seafood dressing. Plus, dog biscuits with butter spread on them, and a boiled egg.

Main course

Roast chicken, guinea fowl, roast quail, roast duck, roast turkey, roast lamb, roast everything, with giblet gravy on top. Plus sausages and a large variety of raw vegetables, including carrot, peas, sweet potatoes, sweet peppers, broccoli, and cauliflower.


Bananas, pears, mangoes, apples, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, golden kiwi, and papaya. Served with sponge cake and goat's cream.

Cheese Board

Every variety of cheese in the world, served with dog biscuits spread with butter.

P.S. There's no way they'll give me any wine.  
P.S.S. What they're actually eating is leftovers of roast lamb and vegetables mixed with a horrid mouth-burning chilli sauce, served with rice. I might just get a few scraps of unadulterated meat and grains of rice tossed into my bowl if I manage to keep all four paws on the floor.